Research consistently shows that the effectiveness of therapy depends not on the techniques the therapist uses but on the “goodness of fit” between you and the therapist. In other words, the theoretical orientation of the therapist does not matter all that much. What does matter is the quality of the relationship between you and the therapist. What matters is whether you “click” with the therapist, whether you feel safe to explore your thoughts, feelings and actions and have a sense of working together on common goals.

What is also important is whether you feel engaged by a therapist on a “gut” level. What this means is that the insight that occurs in therapy is not just received on an intellectual level but is felt deeply and touches something important in you.

You know when this happens. You feel clearer, you feel aware, fluid, connected to your body and very present in the here and now. It is these moments in therapy that are the conduits of change. It is these moments that are ultimately transformative.